One of the great causes of both anxiety and depression is finding oneself in an extreme situation with no apparent way out.
Imagine this scenario: a mother and her son are stranded in the desert. The child is dying of thirst, and there is no water source in sight.
In this week's portion, Vayera, the Torah describes exactly this situation. Hagar, dismissed from Abraham's home, set out into the desert with her son, Ishmael. When the water in her canteen ran out, she placed the dying boy under a bush, moved away about the distance of a bowshot so as not to witness his death, and wept aloud. An angel called out to her, telling her not to despair; G‑d had heard the child's cry: "Arise, lift up the boy and hold him by the hand, for I will make from him a great nation."1 G‑d opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water. She filled the canteen and gave the boy a drink. G‑d watched over the young man as he grew; he settled in the desert and became an archer.
It is hard to imagine a more desperate situation. Hagar's reaction is entirely understandable. Facing her son's imminent death, she gave up and distanced herself so as not to witness the fulfillment of a mother's worst nightmare. She preferred to imagine it rather than see it.
Every detail of this episode contains teachings. Let us look at one that applies to our search for tools against anxiety and depression:
The Torah does not say that a water source miraculously appeared. It says that at a certain moment, Hagar saw a well of water that she had not seen before. What changed so that she could now see what she had previously missed?
A change of attitude.
The moment the canteen ran dry, Hagar concluded that her son's death was inevitable. But why did she limit herself to the water in the canteen? Why didn't she do anything about her problem?
Perhaps it simply did not occur to her to look.
"Arise," said the angel, "lift up the boy. Hold him by the hand, for I will make from him a great nation." In other words: raise your gaze. Redefine yourself and the situation before you. Don't see him merely as a vulnerable child who will die because you cannot provide water. Invert the relationship between cause and effect: your success depends on his need. If you can accept the possibility that he might die of thirst, you will search until you find what you need. You will discover the water that was always there.
G‑d does not perform miracles in vain. G‑d does not do for us what we ourselves can and must do. Only after we have exhausted our own resources does the miracle appear — if it is needed. But there is far more we can achieve on our own than we often realize.
The tool for this week: Never give up. If the goal is worthy, keep striving — without yielding. Success depends on G‑d; the effort depends on you.
